Confessions of a Hedonist

Disclaimer: This is not to justify or rationalize a particular lifestyle, but to discuss what it may entail or imply. There is not to be any moral in the story.

For one second, let’s really confront ourselves with the question: how should we, or can we, live life, life itself, if life is something as simple as the time and space in which we can touch our bodies and feel our souls? I am bold enough to offer some insight. Hedonism, an attitude towards living that I hold, quite naturally out of subconscious and conscious decisions, is first and foremost about life, because it seeks to make life good (the word explains itself). It entails in principle the belief that pleasure is the principle good for an individual, and that it is the goal of all his/her actions. Further, it implies that pleasure is to be the highest aim of the individual and society. It follows that whatever action produces pleasure, it is to be undertaken, and vice versa. Decisions are made based on the probability, quantity and quality of the pleasure that can possibly be derived.

What does "pleasure" mean? Apparently this is an object that is highly variable and specific to each and every individual. To me, pleasure means to feel good, in particular feeling good about myself having engaged in a specific action. Pleasure can be derived from actions that by nature are meant to produce leisure or entertainment: watching films produces pleasure to me, and so does sipping coffee in a coffee shop, even though the coffee beans smell burnt in my latte. Pleasure also extends beyond the premise of the action and is linked closely to a self-reflexive reflection of the involvement of the self in the action: not only is watching films a pleasurable experience, but knowing that I am watching one and that I am engaging myself in a pleasure-producing action, also generates pleasure.

The act of seeking pleasure must, then, be largely reflexive (in face of the objective actions) and self-reflexive (in face of the self in a particular objective action). The feelings that the self experience serve as the focus of attention, not only before the decision is made to undertake a particular action, but also when the action is in progress. Yes, I confess, seeking pleasure means self-centeredness, even self-love.

Further, as pleasure seeking is an act guided by physical and mental senses, hedonism entails a level of sentimentality, where sentimentality means the magnification of the senses, feelings and emotions, and the explicitness with which these are perceived and re-created. Yes, I confess, I am sentimental and enjoy looking into my own emotions. I feel touched by the fact that I am touched.

A person who is hedonistic is short-tempered and short-visioned. Pleasure has to be generated, right now, right here. There is no waiting for some pleasure to come in some 30 years! In some ways, a hedonist is concerned more about the daily bread than the long- term career goals. Yes, I confess, do not lure me into a 10 year program to finally one day become that doctor that saves lives and earns a handsome amount (but who seems to be constantly tired); I am too busy with this moment to think about old age. At the same time, something is given up, often without second thought, when it does not seem to strike the right pleasure-seeking chords at the present moment. Yet because a hedonist has a well developed sense of imagination, things may be taken up with little hesitation, habits that may seem strange and unreasonable (e.g. the constant plucking of eye-brows that produces that itching and biting sensation that makes me feel alive and gives me pleasure) can be formed, and in this sense an individual may well be investing in some long-term quirks that are meaningful. Do not assume that hedonists are necessarily lazy, even though, yes I confess, I am not so concerned with being productive.

Even though hedonism as a term can theoretically be applied to a broader level--that of the society--it is quite difficult to imagine how individuals can promote their own hedonism to other people, or to care for other people's pleasure before their own. A hedonistic individual wants first and foremost pleasure for him/ herself, and if something works to your flavor too, very good: pleasure is generated together and consumed both individually and collectively. Yet in practicality, a hedonist is not one who will want, out of natural will, to further another's well being, because, well, who cares?

I have made a series of “confessions”, because I know that within the present society my hedonist status will likely be considered wayward, unproductive and selfish. Yet, while I am aware of the rules the society have implicitly laid down, I know that I do not have to abide by them, because my life is in my hands and pleasure-seeking is not to be delayed. Life is to be lived, in a way where its good things, things that make me happy and feed my healthy state of mind, are to be explored, exploited and relished. Secretly I am proud of the fact that I seem to have some answers to what life is, and should be, about. So I make my confessions with my head up.

One last note: hedonism is an attitude, not a lifestyle that one can buy or acquire by unnatural means (such as eating a ridiculously amount of candies to make life “sweet”). One needs the heart and the spirit for it; one is not naturally born for it, but one has to be self-confident in one’s self-image and pleasure-seeking actions. Do not make an extra effort to “switch” to a hedonistic lifestyle, it is not meant to be that way.