excerpt 2 from letters

starting yesterday i have begun taking things slower, and being less harsh on myself--- i breathed slower, talked slower, walked slower, and suddenly this age-old advice i hear all the time is taking effect: when one takes things slower, one becomes more fused with the environment, one is able to observe more about one's relationship with the environment and the environment itself. i also realized that i tend to complain less about other people, about the fact that nobody really cares to talk to me, about the pecularities of Berlin, when i take things slower and just fucking shut up and enjoy the quiet company of whoever is next to me-- or the company of myself, where sometimes one feels less lonely being alone than being with someone else.

excerpt 1 from letters

and my own "projects"-- well, one thing i know about them is that i stress myself out more about my cynicism/ skepticism/ fear of wasting time more than trying to do some concrete work. i want to write, either my own stuff or in some newspaper, i want to work, somewhere (e.g. in a bistro), and i also want to take lessons in vibraphone (jazz) and drumsets--- right now all these things haven't really begun yet, because most fundamentally i seemed to be at a loss, feeling lonely at heart and not particularly energized by my being here [in Berlin]